Ho! Ho! Ho!

You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout I’m telling you why

Santa Kennedy is coming to town
He’s making a list checking it twice
He’s gonna find out who’s naughty or nice
Santa Kennedy is coming to town


Sef McCullough has six answers for us.
1. Are you a Highlander?

Wow, what can I say except for "thanks!". This is one of those interview questions that’s like a gift. We’ve talked about this Tony, and I’m glad you brought it up. It’s true that I model myself to no small degree after Christopher Lambert’s character in Highlander (a fantastic performance!), and rarely a day goes by that I say to myself, "what would an immortal do here?", or "wow, you sure handled that one like an MacLeod." I mean, right, you’re saying to yourself "jump on the bandwagon, pal…" but I hope I don’t sound too immodest when I tell you this has been a pretty major influence in my life for a few years now – 3 and a half or 4, something like that.

2. I heard your girlfriend just became a lawyer. Do you ever have to call her "your honor"?

Yeah, it’s gotten pretty bad. It’s like every time I turn around, bam, slapped with a subpoena. Wake up in the morning, she comes in out of nowhere – served with papers. The woman is sue crazy. She’s got this fantastic talent for naming dogs though. Just blows your mind. We’ll be walking down the street, driving in the car, takes her less than a minute – "Right there’s Reginald. Oh, over there, that’s Crenshaw. Look at that little one – that’s Beauregard Rippy." It’s a real gift. Most people don’t really
understand it. We just clicked right off though. We met at a little tin-can fisherman’s bar on the Aptos strip in California. It was her birthday and she was celebrating that as well as being out on bail, I was rocking doubles of Shel Silverstien’s Freaker’s Ball which I think really set the hook. We really connected on some kind of Ketchup joke, just one of those cosmic alignments – something about "fancy" ketchup, I can’t remember. The same old, same old, you know.

3. Give me a true tragedy of the modern world.

It’s tough to pin down a single tragedy today – a true tragedy. There are so many different kinds. I could start with Palestine, no Lebanon. Or Iraq – easy. But then there’s Darfur. Maybe broader – violence. Violence and abuse of power. What about Bill Bellamy? No – Tim Allen. Tim Allen is instrumental in the modern american tragedy. Fast food. America’s Next Top Model. Jeezus, Tyra Banks. Potheads unscrewing all the faucets to get at the screens. Nixon never pursued a professional career as a concert pianist. It’s more a landscape of tragedies – different features, but a solid underpinning of trouble. There are miracles too, which I think is the opposite of tragedy, which also suggests by its name that substantially good things are more rare. The miracle of Christmas? Not really a miracle at all. I trust very few public miracles – fewer and fewer. I think a real miracle is walking deep into the wilderness and sharing a bottle of whiskey around a campfire during a meteor shower – things like that.

4. So, ferretts. Your thoughts?

Right. I’m reading you loud and clear now. We’ll have to start with migratory patterns. Now everybody knows how attractive the plumage on these things are, but it’s a relatively unknown fact that they play such an important role in the ecosystem. They’re actually a cornerstone species in both the Pacific Northwest and the southern tip of the Yucatan Peninsula, which is the end of the road for them during the winter months. Now the ferrett picks up foxtails and other barbed seeds in its feathers and in the
berries it eats, and distributes them along its course, which is why you get, say, Milk Thistle in Reseda, or Datura Stramonium between Sanger and Chowchilla. These species of plants are vital for sustaining Tarantula Wasps, which are a mainstay in the diet of roadrunners. Whip Scorpions, Jerusalem Crickets, and Junebugs also rely on the distribution of flora that is made possible by the winged migration of the ferret.

5. What’s with the weekly meeting doodle?
It’s job security really. I join in the Starbucks regional meetings twice a week and basically take notes in the form of images. Often, these images have nothing to do with the content of the meeting itself, but serve as memory triggers of what the meeting was essentially about – the subtext, the sort of unspoken undercurrent of the meeting. I scan these and send them out to the meeting group as a record.

6. Who gets stuck with the next 6 questions.

Well thanks Dominic, hope this serves a little "how do ya do", and we know a little more about each other now. Thanks Tony for the interesting (and a bit leading I think – no hard feelings) questions. I’d like to pass these on to Lonnie, who I know little about. As far as I know, she speaks through the
baked medium, and is prolific. I think a good kind of left-field question would be: Say there was this friend of yours in the slammer, a medium-security joint just north of Madera – what do you think the best pie/cake is to smuggle in a needle file or small jeweler’s saw?

Juice this

Ken Meyer and Tatum Shaw have always loved watching jello molds and lava lamps explode. They were also the creative team behind these furrreaakin cool slow motion spots for Nike Golf. Check them all out here.