Ever been perplexed on what to say at the perfect moment. Some little gem that will gain you the respect of your peers and demonstrate your cultural prowess. The perfect bit of science that only a true culture curmudgeon could slide into a sentence with perfect iambic pentameter. Your quest will cease once you get your mitts on Volume One, Confidential Terms for Selling the Road to Heaven.
You will learn such terms as: Douche Baggery, iHole, Major Dad™ and Dauminator. Learn exactly what a divorce factory is, yell Barwick at the top of your lungs and then go to your next meeting with Coach™
v. 1. Touching something at least twice.
When you retouch me, it sends shivers down my spine. Can you touch that file one more time to bump up the cyan in the sky? (Implying that you need retouching without actually saying the word.) When I think about you, I retouch myself.
These books are not available in stores. This knowledge is for the inner circle. Consider yourself saved if you have been lucky enough to read these scriptures.